How do you explain unrelated grief ?

Recently, there was a tragedy in the cricket world; As with every Indian male, DD is also a cricket lover, whose once claim to fame has been associated with Cricinfo in its early days.

The death of the Australian cricketer Phil Hughes has left an unfathomable lien of grief in me (DD). For some reason, I believed that the death has transcended culture, country and people. I really dont know if it is due to the fact that PH died so young (25), or that the game that gave us so much joy for me personally in my life, could be so cruel and if the game is a villain of the whole piece or the fact that something that is so innocuous (a normal bouncer) could create such a tragedy, just due to the fact that perfect storm of several unlikely events co-occurred...

In any case, as a part of overcoming the grief and to be able to express the grief, I also took part in the #putoutyourbats with the cricket bat outside the home.

DS wanted to know what this meant and why are we doing this. I had to explain that grief comes in many ways and this is something that isn't logical. My wife started explaining with a past experience that DS went through a long time ago. When we were at a fast-food restaurant, there was this old man, who was driving a car, but had kind of crash-parked on the lawn of the restaurant and we had paramedics with all sirens blaring treating him. At that time, DS had indicated that he had felt sad for the "thatha" although he wasn't related to us.

That was the parallel we had used to explain what I feel. I'm sure that DS would have a lot more questions, but I hope and am sure that he will understand and also feels sadness and joy in equal measures as he goes through his life.

Conserved !

So we had our first brush with the courts in the US.

As the DS turned 18, we had applied for the limited conservatorship for the kid and had got it secured. It was pretty simple and straight forward process, costed a packet (with lawers :-)), but got it done, as we stood in front of the judge; who ready out the docket # and the case name and said "the court accepts the plaintiff's request"... And we are done !

We still continue to be in charge of our kids finance, medical treatment, his choice of living location et al...

Personally, I had mixed emotion - while one part of me was relieved that we have safeguarded DS' risk and exposure; while the other part explored the what-if scenario - isn't the 18 the time that parent's look forward as their child(ren) step bravely in to the world as independent adults?