Growing up !

Last night was a good bad.

For something I said (albeit wrong "accusation" if you will, as said by DS and attested by my DW), DS threw his hand-kerchief away - Now DS has a habit of throwing things (or asking it to be thrown away) if he is annoyed with something else. Since he threw his hanky, I called out his name a bit "loudly". He then threw another of his "minor" tantrum. I, in anger, turned my face away and did not talk to him. Then started the tug-of-war.

I then decided to stand my ground (stupid or wise, not sure at that time). I told him that every action has a consequence and he will need to face that - I used the word punishment once, but then on DW's prompt stopped it and used the word consequence. I also slipped in that 'in life, every action, good or bad, has a consequence" and he will need to face it. The consequence of it is for him to our bed-configuration will be different from every-day. He even stated that he never did anything wrong in the first place when I raised my voice; however, I told him, I'm angry about his reaction. He stood his ground for a while, and staged a walk-out to go to a different room alone and then caught our attention by sobbing aloud. Then when called in, he wanted status-quo (on his comfort-zone of every-day practice). I refused to give in and said that he will need to face the consequence.

DS was angry and declared that he "was angry and will not hug you" while sleeping and he carried his threat through. Usually, when sleeping next he snuggles up, but last night he did not; and I did not either. And through the night, he took care that not to hug in sleep.

At one level, it was very wrenching to watch him go through this and I almost gave up a couple of times. At another level, I also thought he became strong - where he made his assertions at several levels:
1) That he was accused wrongly at the first instance and did explain that one more time under stress
2) That he has his own sense of individual emotions and he can carry that through
3) That he is not playful all the time

Although it was painful to go through, I was proud at one level. Somehow, in his anger and his sense of righteous-indignation, he seemed to have grown up !

Settling Down...

This is a report-out from the new location - which is the bay area in the United States... We have been here for two weeks now (post-relocation) and DS has settled/is settling quite well - better than what we anticipated.

The move itself was uneventful - fortunately I had an upgrade to business class on Singapore Airlines and DS loved the flight, the seat, the food on it. He was quite happy that he can lay down flat and at the same time watch Rajnikanth's latest movie Sivaji. The thing is, DS thinks that we will travel that way everytime... I need to break that to him some other time ! :)

In the house, he is quite ok - back home in India he started with I will not enjoy US; but slowly he is getting into things here - the large shopping experience, the parks, the drive, the cars (some of which are same as in India - which is a big thing). Also, the presence of organic food store has given more food options to him - organic chocolates, organic chicken (that he loves), gluten free cookies and biscuits...

One thing that yet to be settled is his schooling - he doesn't want to go to school here in the US and make new friends (so he says). We also think that would be a big change for him - culturally, language-wise and other-wise too. Although, we did visit couple of private schools, we are looking not to rush him. We are seeing if we can run a private or school district's Independent study program (ISP, as its called here) at home, look at some structured social skills classes and then at the end of this school year, see if he can go to a school. This is the one that still very unclear for us, but we are hoping to go with the gut and eventually hope it would turn out to be the better. Even the choice of housing is based on where we could get him the maximum benefit...

Our fingers crossed and we are waiting and seeing...