Last night was a good bad.
For something I said (albeit wrong "accusation" if you will, as said by DS and attested by my DW), DS threw his hand-kerchief away - Now DS has a habit of throwing things (or asking it to be thrown away) if he is annoyed with something else. Since he threw his hanky, I called out his name a bit "loudly". He then threw another of his "minor" tantrum. I, in anger, turned my face away and did not talk to him. Then started the tug-of-war.
I then decided to stand my ground (stupid or wise, not sure at that time). I told him that every action has a consequence and he will need to face that - I used the word punishment once, but then on DW's prompt stopped it and used the word consequence. I also slipped in that 'in life, every action, good or bad, has a consequence" and he will need to face it. The consequence of it is for him to our bed-configuration will be different from every-day. He even stated that he never did anything wrong in the first place when I raised my voice; however, I told him, I'm angry about his reaction. He stood his ground for a while, and staged a walk-out to go to a different room alone and then caught our attention by sobbing aloud. Then when called in, he wanted status-quo (on his comfort-zone of every-day practice). I refused to give in and said that he will need to face the consequence.
DS was angry and declared that he "was angry and will not hug you" while sleeping and he carried his threat through. Usually, when sleeping next he snuggles up, but last night he did not; and I did not either. And through the night, he took care that not to hug in sleep.
At one level, it was very wrenching to watch him go through this and I almost gave up a couple of times. At another level, I also thought he became strong - where he made his assertions at several levels:
1) That he was accused wrongly at the first instance and did explain that one more time under stress
2) That he has his own sense of individual emotions and he can carry that through
3) That he is not playful all the time
Although it was painful to go through, I was proud at one level. Somehow, in his anger and his sense of righteous-indignation, he seemed to have grown up !