The Tastiest bite ever !

DS did an amazing thing today !!!

He usually likes to eat Appalam (pappad)

 after food - sometimes before food and sometimes during food - basically he loves appalam. Since he knows how to operate the microwave, he just opens the shelf, picks 2-4 (he likes even numbers too :) ), microwaves it on his own and eats it.

Today he did the same, but he did something beyond. 

He took 5 pieces, microwaved them, then brought one to me... He has seen me eating appalam a few times too. He told me that since he has seen me eating appalam often, he thought he'd make me one !!! No prompting, none. He just did that on his own !!!

I was over the moon ! If I could kept the appalam

 forever, I would have !! However, here it is - one the other form that I could preserve and enjoy it !!

Parallel World...

DW and I hit upon an idea... We want to create a parallel world, where there is a boy named Rahul, who is 4 years older to DS... We were wondering if we keep talking to DS about Rahul 4 years from now as he goes through his life... everyday (or once in two days, but few times a week), about 4-5 sentences about Rahul's day or week...

Here is a bit of intro about Rahul:  

Rahul is a wonderful boy (of +4 years of DS' age)... He is highly sensitive, humorous and very affectionate. He cares about people's feelings but cannot express it well. He likes to have people around him and they have to be happy. Although Rahul likes people, he is very shy and finds it tough to make social conversations.

Rahul likes to listen to music; Although he could discern music well and repeat the notes, he is just learning to play the keyboard. Rahul also likes to watch movies and likes Kirigami/Origami - he likes to see various forms and structures with paper. Rahul loves to understand the details of certain things, particularly that of things that locomote - cars, buses, aeroplanes, trains; but not so much about ships or helicopters! Rahul likes to understand directions and roads; although he can visualize the map so clearly in his head, he will have trouble articulating it. He once brought his grandparents home when he was 11 from a walk, when they were a bit confused about the way. Rahul is extremely organized and he could plan a trip to the minutest details.

Regarding school, Rahuk likes descriptive subjects. He does not like Math so much, since he could be either right or wrong; and he hates to be wrong, not just in Math but anywhere. Although, he is not very academically oriented, he can comprehend some of the subjects well. He can remember things that he hears and see very well, although he does not like to read visually. He is good in Life-sciences, history and Geography. He is also very good in English vocabulary.

Rahul likes to cook and eat some good food. He loves chicken and ice-cream; although he cannot eat the latter very much, except on "exception days".

Rahul has some trouble with certain noises and a sense of overwhelm sometimes. But he has found defense mechanisms for those. Rahul also has challenges with unexpected changes in once in a while, but he can talk it through himself. He finds parallel within his mind from the past and draws upon those experiences...

In this story, Rahul goes to school as every other boy of his age, finds a friend, finds his mojo and his own space in the world...

We also want to see how DS reacts to the story and if it gets him into introspection…

Periodic Inspiration...

I talked about a response to the article I wrote in the Hindu (newspaper)... This is a response that a dear friend of mine sent me when he read the article. In times of confusion and sometimes despair, I read this response... It does inspire to believe in a greater message/cause that is in store for us; and refresh the journey !!

Here is that response:

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Read your article in The Hindu, today.  Great to know you are supporting your son with all you can.  God has made each one of us different, and special in His own way.  It is all about how we make use of what He has given us.  Kurai ontrum ille, Kanna.  Thank you for sharing your experience with a world that is conducting crawling race for babies of few months.

I strongly believe He has given me a lot of talent, and a healthy body. He has blessed me so much that I am very likely to live to see my retirement age, and far beyond unless He chooses to cancel my visa in His own way.  I believe He has blessed me with a "normal mind" that passed though all the required academic exams and job selections with flying colors.  So what?!!

I envy Dr.Hawking.  Born 1942, Dr.Hawking's doctors predicted his early death in 1963 from the incurable neuromuscular disorder--he couldn't use his arms and legs; he cannot feed himself; an an operation by experts in 1985 to assist his breathing cost him what little remaining use of his vocal cords.   Out of that crumpled, voiceless body in a wheelchair, the mind of Dr.Hawking is able to perceive the whole universe and how it works.  So, what is normal, and who is special?

I am sure your son is blessed by Him.  With your help for a short while, he will discover himself.   Help him discover his space--his karma-bhoomi.   Support him to stay there.  Give him emotional support that he can pursue the space for which He gave him all those talents and specialities.  May be mathematics, pure science, literature, art-- what is he meant for?  Help him discover; most important, support him to live there.  In a way, He is blessed.  He will get a special life partner (wife?) for him--someone whose parameters of life will be very different from that of normal people.  He will be blessed with the support from someone who will be willing to make great sacrifices to help him blossom with his special skills.   He will be blessed with low expectations on him from the society and relatives.  He will be blessed with parents who would make enough money so that he will not have to distract himself from His course for making a living.  He is blessed, your son, to have parents like you are.   He is blessed with talents that will make him known far longer in this world than we all will be.  May be your fame would be for being his father.  May be I can narrate your story to my grand-children as I am awaiting in the station to leave this world.   While your son will be busy with God's charter, other normal people will be busy with the charters from their bosses and wives.

God bless!

Affectionately,

xyz

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A time to Heal, a time to let go...

This is not a note about they Byrds' Turn, Turn, Turn...

Due to some thought provoking discussion in a forum, facilitated by one of the brightest brains I've seen, I've been stepping back and giving  a very serious thought. Have also discussed it with DW a lot. I went back to re-read a specific response to my article that got published in a newspaper  for inspiration... (I will post that response as a separate post)...

I was talking this morning with DW. I think, when DS was young I was thinking more with my heart and trust his potential; and ignorance was bliss too...but as he became older, we've become more informed and that had lead to being more analytical and logical. About two-three years ago, I recall DS's psychologist saying that our work with him and not bounding his potential has helped him develop faster than the doc's own expectation. Perhaps as DS grows older, my fear for his future is coloring our possibilities for the present. There could be a possibility that I've started looking at him from "independent living" lens and that alone - have become too analytical about it.

The challenge of being analytical/logical is it constrains the results and not lend itself to discovery of another plane. Yesterday, as I was watching the US VP debate, I had my ear on how DW and DS were interacting and playing in another room. I think DW engages at the level of potential and not possibilities - with being purely invitational (heart) rather than evaluative (brain). I can sense DS more comfortable with her and opening up to her more.

There was this theory that was pointed out to us by this lady who facilitates the forum - called the Presencing. I'm getting the "top of the U" part - to be more invitational - I tried it out yesterday - i just went with DS and cut the papers with him. No words absolutely. He seemed tense first, but I just didn't say anything, just cut with him and he relaxed. I will do this through this week. I'm also going to let DW take the lead in creating the moment and tools. I'll engage with DW offline to design it, but not in front of DS... The thing is I believe he has immense potential; just want to make sure, the roadblock in realizing that aren't us. To be just be "invitational" and not "evaluative".  Re his potential, I've a gut feel that he could become one of the best (non-surgical) doctor, because of his memory, observation, attention to details, ability to correlate facts, "sensing" people and ability to connect with them with humor and sensitivity. Yes, he would have his idiosyncrasies more pronounced than someone else, perhaps.

The other breakthrough I got was that - being invitational and being with him, creates an "episodic memory" prior to the fact - the one that he can recall more easily than trying to encode after the event. I think the tools like RDI, Enki etc would be more effective, being in with him.

So would I completely withdraw from all the theorizing and mixing/matching ? Hell no !! :-) but definitely, I strive to reduce the complexity for him and make it simple for him, simple enough for him to enjoy without anxiety - take the complexity away from his presence - he has enough already at the school and otherwise...